Installing Love
Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?
Customer: I think I can do that. I'm not very technical, but I think I am
ready to install now. What do I do first?
CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you
located your HEART ma'am?
Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running
right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?
CS Rep: What programs are running ma'am?
Customer: Let me see....I have PASTHURT.EXE,
LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and
RESENTMENT.COM running right now.
CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase
PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system.
It may remain in your permanent memory, but it
will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will
eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module
of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have
to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and
RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE
from being properly installed. Can you turn those off
ma'am?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off.
Can you tell me how?
CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke
FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary
until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been
completely erased.
Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself
automatically. Is that normal?
CS Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will
reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?
Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?
CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base
program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in
order to get the upgrades.
Customer: Oops... I have an error message already.
What should I do?
CS Rep: What does the message say?
Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN
ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?
CS Rep: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.
It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external
HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one
of those complicated programming things, but In non-technical
terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it
can "LOVE" others.
Customer: So what should I do?
CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?
Customer: Yes, I have it.
CS Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.
Customer: Thank you.
CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and
then copy them to the "MYHEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC,
SELFESTEEM.TXT,
REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and
GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting
files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to
delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your
recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never
comes back.
Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files.
SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that
WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are
copying themselves all over my HEART!
CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able
to handle it from here. One more thing before I go....
Customer: Yes?
CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various
modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with
other people and they will return some really neat modules
back to you.
Customer: I will share LOVE. Thank you for your help.
[ Author Unknown -- from Marge ]
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