The Hour

"I've been up to my neck in trouble!" he said.

"Only up to your neck?  At least you can see where you are going!" I said.

"Yes, but I can't move," he relied.  "I feel paralyzed."

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you really paralyzed?"

He thought for moment while staring at me as if I were speaking another language.

"Yes!" he said with much conviction. "I believe I am."

"Then I guess you are," I confirmed.

"Wait, it's not like you to give up on me like that," he said with a slight smile.

"Oh, I'll never give up on you. But you told me exactly what was wrong."

"I'm paralyzed?  I can't move?"

"No, you're not.  But you believe you are.  The key word there is "believe."  You said, "I believe I am."

"Oh, we've been down this road before, Bob.  This same old familiar...if you believe it, you can achieve it stuff."

"Yes, we have been.  It's an all too familiar road.  The road of unhappiness and regret that makes a sharp turn onto "I had my chance" Highway.  It intersects with "It's my lot in life" Road and suddenly comes to a halt at "I can't do it"  because it's a dead end."

He sat down.

"I've been there myself many times. I am sorry to say I take a tour of those same places every now and then even today.  But I never get as far as the dead end road."

"Why?"

"I believe."

"Oh, yes.  We are back there again."

"The hour I first believed."

"What's that?"

"A line from "Amazing Grace."

I've heard that song a thousand times and I never heard that one line.  That is until I was supposed to. Then "Pow!"  It hit me.  It hit me so hard that I shook.  It made me remember that feeling when I really, truly believed.  Not just as it applied to my faith, but the moment I believed I was a good man.  I remembered the moment I accepted a compliment and didn't make a joke out of it.  The hour I first believed I could, I should, I would and I did.

Then I grabbed my friend by the shoulders and said, "I remember the hour I first believed I was worthy."

I continued, "I began to cry inside.  I began to explode with a clash of sadness and extreme happiness.  I tried to speak and I couldn't.  I had, for so very long, believed that I wasn't worthy of all the good in my life.  I recognized it.  I knew it was good, but I didn't believe I deserved it.  That is until one day I was asked if I believed in God.  I replied "Yes."  I was asked if I believed that I was created by God.  "Yes!"

"Is what God created worthless?"

I was appalled at that statement.

"If God made me why would I be worthless?" I asked of her.

"Then why would you be unworthy?" she replied.

The hour I first believed.

My friend stood up and walked in circles as if mocking me.

"It's a miracle!  I'm moving!" he said.

"Yes, but is this "The Hour?"  I asked him.

"We'll see," he replied and then turned down "I can't do it" road...the dead end.

Is this your hour?

"The hour I first believed."

~ Bob Perks ~

[ by: Bob Perks Copyright © 2005 (2believe@comcast.net) -- {used with permission} ]