My Childhood

As I look back on my childhood,
No joys to smile about.
God placed me there for a reason
And for this, I have no doubt.

As a young child my life was empty.
Fear and pain was always there,
Of a father making life unhappy
A mom making it able to bear.

Being young I couldn't understand,
In our family, love seemed colder.
Why did I feel life was so unfair,
Still yet today, as I've grown older?

The youngest of seven siblings;
Four sisters and two brothers.
We never would have survived
Without the love from our precious mother.

Some felt she should have made it better
But she was afraid, as her children were.
I'm sure she felt she did her best,
Though some felt she didn't care.

At age ten, God came to take me home,
Though I was dying, dad never gave any slack,
But my mom sat by my bed and cried,
"Please, Lord, don't take her back".

The doctors said there was no hope,
She said the pain I cannot bear,
With the thought of loosing my baby,
But instantly, God answered her prayer.

I always felt her love surrounding me
Throughout the years that lay ahead.
As a teen, when dad would come home drunk,
She would say "Lets hide under the bed".

"If we lay here for a little while,
He'll pass out, then we can get up".
Those memories will always affect me,
It seemed nothing we did was enough.

I remember the pain while lying there,
Under the bed, silence as I peeped out.
Mom would say to me, "Be very quiet,
Then we can get up and move about".

My mom did the best that she could do,
For she was meek and mild,
But only by the Grace Of God,
We survived our lives as a child.

I married young, like my sisters did,
This was embedded in our head,
By a mom that felt being with our father,
A child of hers could end up dead.

Then one day dad found the Lord,
Some things then seemed to change.
To survive the pain he put us through,
Made me thankful, God kept me sane.

I forgave my dad for all he did,
As God has forgiven me.
For all my sinful ways through life,
My God has set me free!

[ by Darlene Owsley Copyright © 2002 -- submitted by: Darlene Owsley ]