Pull It Back Before It Lands
I don't know if you have ever been fly-fishing. I'm no purist,
but I do love to throw a hair popper or two. When you find that
perfect hole for a fish, you feel the pressure to make a perfect
cast; you want to gently drop the fly right into that perfect spot
without noise and commotion! You work your line out a time or
two, and then you let it race out toward the target. Sometimes,
as your fly nears its destination, you realize that you've messed
up the cast. But this is fly fishing! With a quick flick of the wrist,
the rod silently snaps the fly back from the surface of the water
before it lands. You make a couple of "false casts," and then
gently drop the fly into your intended destination. No harm done
because the bad cast never landed; the fish wasn't spooked and
the perfect spot wasn't spoiled because of a sloppy mistake!
Ah! If only we could do that with our words!
After an grief-filled morning, I was emotionally spent. I shouldn't
have been surprised that at one crucial point, my words rang out
with a harshness I had not intended. They reflected a smoldering
private anger I had yet to bridle. My words were genuine, but too
biting to be fair; they were the truth, but unwashed by righteousness
or grace. As soon as the sentence was gone from my lips, I wanted
to stop them in mid flight, pull them back, and re-word the sentence.
Unfortunately words aren't delivered via a fly rod. They cannot be
snapped back before landing. We don't get a few false casts so we
deliver them more precisely.
So what do we do with those words that wound, statements that
sizzle, and replies that rip hearts?
Well, of course the best solution is prevention. Unfortunately,
many of us have what my dad called diarrhea of the mouth: we
talk way too much about way too little and cause way too much
damage. That's why James told us, "My dear friends, you should
be quick to listen and slow to speak or to get angry." (James 1:19)
Putting the brakes on and thinking about what we say before we
say it is absolutely crucial to living a Christian life and blessing others.
Unfortunately, this is very hard for some of us to learn to do. It seems
nearly impossible to do when we are mad, tired, frustrated, or feel like
we are unheard and under-appreciated.
So how do we put the brakes on our mouth and slow ourselves
down enough to listen before we speak? Four keys are helpful:
First, we should to plan out words of blessing we want to share
with others. The Holy Spirit told us to plan how we are going to
encourage others BEFORE we go to church. (Hebrews 10:24 "let
us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds...")
Let's make a plan to go to church to bless. Let's strategize what needs
to be said to people who especially need our encouragement.
Second, we should analyze the need of those with whom we are
speaking, then target our words to bless them and to build them
up based upon their needs (Ephesians 4:29 "Let no evil talk come
out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as
there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who
hear.") So often we slip into speech that draws attention to ourselves,
our needs, our significance and we forget our charge to be redemptive
in every area of our life, including our speech. Let's listen first, so
we can bless when we speak rather than trying to be the center of attention.
Third, we can read and focus on the blessings in Scripture: as we
read, memorize, and share them, they begin to shape our speech
into a much richer vocabulary of blessing. (A wonderful resource
we offer for free as a download is Eldon Degge's Book of Blessings
which have a blessing for each day, half of which are the words of
Scripture.) Blessed speech becomes much more natural. This focus
helps our first speech inclination to bring God's grace to someone
else rather than defending our turf, stating our position, or returning
a sarcastic zinger. In very tough times, Peter reminded God's
people: Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate when people say unkind
things about you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is
what God wants you to do, and he will bless you for it. (1 Peter 3:9)
Fourth, we must begin each day with prayer, asking God to use us
to be his blessing in the lives of those we will touch that day. We
should ask for help in saying the right things at the right time
with the right attitude. If we have special meetings scheduled,
we can ask for God's grace and help to say things properly. Not
all of our conversations will be easy, pleasant, and non-confrontational.
But we can speak the truth in the love and display courtesy as
well as courage even while being assertive. Paul tells us: "Let
your conversation be gracious and effective so that you will have
the right answer for everyone." (Colossians 4:6) God's Spirit can
help us display holy character in what we say and how we say it.
Since there are no simple ways to snap back our words before
they sloppily hit their target and do lasting damage, we're going
to have to apologize when we misuse our speech. If our focus is
upon blessing others, our good intentions will begin to show in our
lives. When we mess up our speech and wound others, our
apologies will more likely be accepted and appreciated. While
we cannot erase the words, we must ask for the forgiveness of
those we wound. Hopefully over time, our desire to bless will help
change the hearts of those we've hurt and help them understand
we want to bless them with grace.
God bless us all as we seek to use our words to bring a blessing to others.
~ Phil Ware ~
phil@heartlight.org
(c) 2002 Heartlight, Inc.
Write Phil and let him know how his words affected you today . . . .
Phil Ware is minister of the Word at Westover Hills Church of
Christ in Austin, Texas. He is also the coeditor of HEARTLIGHT
Magazine. Check out Heartlight Magazine at the following link: http://www.heartlight.org
[ by: Phil Ware Copyright © 2002 (phil@heartlight.org) -- {used with permission} ]
Inspirational Stories
SkyWriting.Net
All Rights Reserved.
|