Creating Fathers
When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with
a tall frame. A female angel nearby said, "What kind of
father is that? If you're going to make children so close to
the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't
be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in
bed without bending or even kiss a child without a lot of
stooping.
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him childsize,
who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a father's hands, they were large and
sinewy. The angel shook her head sadly and said, "Large
hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small
buttons, rubber bands on ponytails or even remove splinters
caused by sticks used as baseball bats."
And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough
to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at
the end of a day, yet small enough to cup a child's face."
And then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of
the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just
made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child
close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"
And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father
needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a
bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the
circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet
anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself
no longer. "That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large
boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when
the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without
crushing at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll
support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury
Cross or scare off mice at the summer cabin or display shoes
that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked on, giving the father few words but a firm, authoritive
voice and eyes that saw everything but remained calm and
tolerant. Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears.
Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied
that he can love as much as a mother?"
The angel shutteth up ....
This originally appeared in a newspaper column by Erma Bombeck.
She was a well-known humorist and author. She died April 22,
1996 in San Francisco, California.
[ Author: Erma Bombeck -- from Bill Champion, 'Tidbits Daily Devotional' (champ@midsouth.rr.com) ]
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