New Office Slang

1. 404 - Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking John. He's 404."
   
   
2. Adminisphere - The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant.
   
   
3. Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha geek."
   
   
4. Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in "she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling"
   
   
5. Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers or cell-phones go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
   
   
6. Betamaxed - When a technology is overtaken in the market by inferior but better marketed competition as in "Microsoft betamaxed Apple right out of the market"
   
   
7. Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.
   
   
8. Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weight-lifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.
   
   
9. Bookmark - To take note of a person for future reference. "After seeing his cool demo at Siggraph, I bookmarked him."
   
   
10. CGI Joe - A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
    
    
11. Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.
    
    
12. Chip Jewelry - Old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into decoration. "I paid three grand for that Mac and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
    
    
13. Chips and Salsa - Chips = hardware, salsa = software. "First we gotta figure out if the problem's in your chips or your salsa."
    
    
14. CLM (Career Limiting Move)- Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. "Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM."
    
    
15. Cobweb - A WWW site that never changes.
    
    
16. Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.
    
    
17. Dead Tree Edition - The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms.
    
    
18. Dilberted - To be exploited and oppressed by your boss, as is Dilbert, the comic strip character. "Man, I've been dilberted again! The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
    
    
19. Egosurfing - Scanning the Net, databases, etc., for one's own name.
    
    
20. Elvis Year - The peak year of popularity as in "1993 was Barney the dinosaur's Elvis year"
    
    
21. Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company or department soon.
    
    
22. Glazing - Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open; a popular pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that by the second session half the room was glazing?"
    
    
23. GOOD job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.
    
    
24. Gray Matter - Older, experienced business people hired by young entrepreneurial firms trying to appear more professional and established.
    
    
25. Idea Hamsters - People whose idea generators are always running.
    
    
26. Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.
    
    
27. Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people's computer keyboards.
    
    
28. Link Rot - The process by which web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die.
    
    
29. Mouse Potato - The online generation's answer to the couch potato.
    
    
30. Open-Collar Workers - People who work at home or telecommute.
    
    
31. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the dickens out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
    
    
32. Perot - To quit unexpectedly. "My cellular phone just perot'ed."
    
    
33. Plug-and-Play - A new hire who doesn't require training. "That new guy is totally plug-and-play."
    
    
34. Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get caught in the end.
    
    
35. Stress Puppy - A person who thrives on being stressed-out and whiny.
    
    
36. Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been used so much its magnetic strip is worn away.
    
    
37. Tourists - Those who take training classes just to take a vacation from their jobs. "There were only three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists."
    
    
38. Under Mouse Arrest - Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
    
    
39. Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Also: decruitment.
    
    
40. WOOFYS - Well Off Older Folks.
    
    
41. World Wide Wait - The real meaning of WWW.
    
    
42. Xerox Subsidy - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

[ Author unknown - received from Chris Long at 'Laugh & Lift' (www.laughandlift.com) ]