Bob,
You said if you are feeling lost or disconnected. I was wondering
if my being here on this earth was an accident maybe God didn't really
intend to create me at all and a whoopsy daisy occurred. Because my
life has no meaning I'm just alive I breath but I don't feel needed
or wanted by anyone like I'm in the way. Is it possible that sometimes
or maybe just one time a person gets created that was supposed to die at
birth or be stillborn but yet somehow survived anyway? I need an honest
answer to this ok it's important.
I wanted so much more out of life than what I have I'm to the point
that I wish I was no longer alive and God knows this but yet other
people die and I'm still here is it bc He thinks I'm already dead He
doesn't realize I 'm alive?
Please respond your best and it doesn't have to be biblical you can
tell me the truth bc I think its bc God just doesn't care about me at
all and that's why my life sucks so much! I really don't understand God
at all and yet the bible says His love endures forever. I just don't know
what to believe. How can his love endure forever, how? Thank you, (name withheld)
This was my reply: (name withheld)
God NEVER makes mistakes. Imagine what faith would be like if we
believed in something bigger than us who screwed up once in awhile?
I don't think we'd believe for long.
I was a second child in my family of two. I wasn't expected. When it
came to light that my mom was pregnant, they wanted a girl. So, by
those standards I was a mistake. I was what they called back then a "Blue Baby."
That meant I needed a complete blood transfusion. I could have died.
So, I guess I was trouble from the start.
But I was meant to be. Just like you. Just like everyone else.
In my lifetime I have come in touch with so many people and we both
benefited from my views of life, their views and opinions, my love
for people, my ability to sing, speak and write.
Imagine if I thought I was a mistake and God didn't know I existed.
I suffer from depression, too. That's right you and I are exactly
the same. Low self esteem and an inability to see beauty in the
world at times. We both feel unimportant, insignificant and useless
at times.
It's all lies. Pure and simple blind self destructive lies.
During those dark days we see only what we choose to see. So, when
we are down all we see are the ugly things of life. We twist our view
to fit a poor image of ourselves. We take inventory of what we "have"
and "don't have" and always come out short on the have list.
We can't fit in anywhere and find our lives empty and without purpose.
Lies all lies.
No, my friend, God doesn't make mistakes. God doesn't create and
forget. The pure fact that you are here means that He wanted you.
He is also waiting for you to take care of yourself.
God feeds the birds but He doesn't throw the food into the nest.
He created them to fly, to seek out and live their lives to their
fullest capacity. Bees do what they do. Birds, do what they were
created to do. A bird can't be a bee nor can a human being become
a giraffe. Each has a design and purpose within the great plan.
You were created to just be you. You may become the leader of a
nation, a street sweeper, a clerk in a store or a great athlete.
It all begins with you.
I see two doctors. I am on anti-depressants because my body is
chemically out of balance. Yours is, too. I can tell. You see
it isn't natural for anyone to think the way we do sometimes. Our
bodies aren't producing the good stuff that helps us think clearly
and see the right and wrong in the world.
You need to see a doctor and get on some medication that helps bring
you up to speed. Then you need to begin reading some things that will
help you to get back on track. You know, the stuff that clicks with
you so that you can make a plan for the rest of your incredible life.
Go to the local library and browse through the sections of inspirational
books. Norman Vincent Peale, Zig Ziglar, Robert Schuller and Og Mandino to name a few. Look for a good Bible study that's easy to understand, too.
Thumb through those pages until you find a style you like or words that
jump off the page for you.
This will be and I'm guessing has been a life long struggle for you.
It has been for me, too. And yet, I'm almost 62 and still here.
People around you just don't understand. They think they do. They
say things like, "Cheer up!" "It's not all that bad." "Let's go out for a
few drinks and have fun." "Get over it!"
This is depression. Clinical depression. That means your body is
malfunctioning. While that is happening you are thinking you are
unworthy of any joy, love, or happiness. So, thoughts of ending it
all plague you everyday.
It makes sense to you and it did to me until I asked for help. Am I
dancing on the ceiling and skipping through life now? No way! You
see, your problems don't go away, but your perception of them does.
I can see the problems in my life that made me unhappy and now I
must work hard to make the changes necessary to correct them. So, that means I have good days and bad.
But that's the good news. Everyone does. Everyone has good
and bad days.
Today is a new beginning. Right now where you are you can begin to
make the changes in your life that will help you to enjoy living again.
It's like a brand new start. I get up and begin to reconstruct my life.
I am recreating myself. Every morning I wake up is an affirmation that
I can start again.
"It's not just another day, it's another chance."
So, what's your priorities now? Get some help. Even if you are broke
there are programs available to help you. Wash away any image of being weird or people thinking you're a mental case. That's just more lies.
Forget any mental health stigmas. You, my friend, will stand out
above all those who want to judge you because you will be taking charge of your life again. They have bought into the lies.
Do you know who the great liar is? Satan, the evil, ugly one who is
responsible for flooding your mind with negative images.
I mean, think about it. Admit it. You asked me if God makes mistakes?
You asked me if God has forgotten you because you somehow slipped into this world without Him knowing.
When you can see those thoughts as lies and impossible, then you can
declare your "break through."
I won't throw a bunch of Bible quotes at you, but I will offer you
this one line. It's a phrase that a friend many years ago offered
me when I was doubting everything.
Each and every time you start thinking bad thoughts about yourself or
your life simply repeat, "He that is in me is greater than he that is
in the world." Say it again and again.
God is in you so how could He ever deny you? Satan, the devil, the
ugly evil one is in the world, of the world and wants to distort your
view of life.
First get help. You can do that by going to a doctor your regular
physician and he/she can direct you. If you can't do that then go
to a church and ask for help. Often times they have staff or church
members who are professionals and volunteer their time to counsel people.
You are worthy, you are loved, you have a great life
ahead and you are a magnificent creation of God.
God doesn't make mistakes.
Get up now, go get help today.
God is waiting to show you the real you.
As Dr. Robert Schuller always says,
"God loves you and so do I" !
Please pray for this wonderful person
and for all who live with depression.
Keep me updated. I love good news and happy endings. Bob
"I believe in you!"
"I wish you enough!"
J
~ Bob Perks ~
